Cognitive empathy: definition and example

Understanding versus sharing

Empathy research separates several reactions that everyday speech lumps together. Davis's questionnaire, for example, measures perspective taking separately from empathic concern and personal distress, and found each relates to other measures in distinct ways (Davis, 1983). Cognitive empathy sits closest to perspective taking: it is the thinking side of empathy.

An example without matching feelings

Your friend is thrilled to have finished a marathon, something you would never want to do. You can understand that months of 5 a.m. runs made the finish line mean something, and say, "You trained through that whole winter. What was the last mile like?" You do not need to feel the same excitement to understand it and respond well.

Cognitive versus affective empathy

Cognitive empathy answers "What is she feeling, and why?" Affective empathy answers "What do I feel when I see her like this?" A nurse may understand a patient's fear precisely while staying steady inside, and a friend may feel your grief deeply while misreading what you need. Good support usually draws on both, checked against what the person actually says.

Keep it honest

Understanding is a hypothesis until it is checked. In a series of experiments, imagining someone's perspective did not reliably improve accuracy, while asking them did (Eyal, Steffel, and Epley, 2018). If they correct you, update your view rather than insisting you know their feelings better than they do.

Cognitive empathy can also be used coldly, for instance by a skilled salesperson. That is why it pairs naturally with empathic concern, the warm wish for the other person to be okay. Compare affective empathy and empathic accuracy.