Affective empathy: definition and example
Affective empathy is feeling some version of what another person feels, such as tightening up when a friend describes a frightening near-miss on the highway. It connects you to them, but if it turns into your own overwhelming distress it can push you away from helping.
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Two directions it can go
Singer and Klimecki describe two reactions to someone else's suffering: empathic distress, a self-focused negative state linked to withdrawal, and compassion, a warm, other-focused state linked to wanting to help; their review also describes early evidence that compassion can be trained (Singer and Klimecki, 2014). Affective empathy is often the starting point for both.
An example in a conversation
A friend tells you about a painful breakup and you feel your own throat close. One path: you get so upset that you change the subject or start talking about your own breakup. Another path: you notice the feeling, steady yourself, and ask, "Do you want me to just listen, or help you think about next steps?" Same empathy, very different help.
Affective empathy versus compassion
Affective empathy is the shared feeling itself. Compassion adds a warm wish to help and keeps your attention on the other person. You can have strong empathy and little compassion when you are depleted, or steady compassion with only mild shared feeling. Noticing which one you are in can guide what you offer.
Staying caring without flooding
If your distress is rising fast, it is fine to say, "I want to be here for this. Give me a minute to get a glass of water." Avoid asking the person in pain to reassure you. If you care for others a lot, through work or family, pay attention to the pull toward withdrawal described on the empathy distress page.
Compare cognitive empathy for the understanding side and empathic concern for the other-focused warmth. Emotional contagion is the more automatic catching of a mood.
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Research notes
- Tania Singer, Olga M. Klimecki (2014). Empathy and compassion. Current Biology, 24(18), R875-R878. A review that separates two reactions to someone else's suffering: empathic distress, a self-focused negative state linked to withdrawal, and compassion, a warm, other-focused state linked to wanting to help, and it describes early evidence that compassion can be trained. doi.org/10.1016/j.cub.2014.06.054
Related
- No. 01EQ glossaryThe words behind emotional intelligence, defined.
- No. 02Cognitive empathyCognitive empathy is understanding what another person is feeling and why, without necessarily feeling it yourself.
- No. 03Empathic concernEmpathic concern is feeling warmth, tenderness, and concern for another person who is struggling, with your attention on their well-being rather than your own discomfort.
- No. 04Emotional contagionEmotional contagion is the tendency to catch other people's emotions, often without noticing, by automatically mirroring their faces, voices, and posture.
- No. 05Empathy DistressTaking on someone's pain as your own
- No. 06Emotional Intelligence Test: Free EQ AssessmentExplore your emotional choices with a free 36-item assessment for adults. Get a profile summary and strongest area, then choose whether to unlock the full report.
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