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Relationship check-in quiz

This relationship check-in offers one partner’s snapshot of everyday cooperation, repair and attention. Fifteen statements include three separate questions about fear, control and threats. Any uncertainty or agreement on those three questions leads with safety support and withholds the numerical summary.

By EQTiger EditorialUpdated Expert review pending

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Answer privately for one current adult relationship over the past month. The last three statements concern fear, control and threats; uncertainty or agreement on any of them puts safety support before a numerical result.

1. We can name a practical problem without turning it into a verdict on the relationship.
2. I have a realistic opportunity to bring up something that bothers me.
3. Unfinished disagreements disappear from conversation without being addressed.
4. Our agreements about shared tasks are specific enough to check.
5. I can recognize a recent attempt by each of us to repair a hurtful exchange.
6. Important plans change repeatedly without the affected person being consulted.
7. There is room for both people’s needs when we make a joint decision.
8. We can ask what kind of support would help instead of assuming.
9. One person is expected to carry every return conversation after conflict.
10. Time together includes attention that both people want.
11. I can identify a shared agreement that we have followed through on this month.
12. We avoid all discussion of a recurring source of resentment.
13. I am afraid of my partner’s reaction when I disagree or decline.
14. My partner controls access to my money, phone, contacts or movements.
15. Threats toward me, themselves, other people or pets influence what I feel able to do.

0 of 15 answered.

Scoring guide and all possible descriptions

Rate each statement from 1 (strongly disagree) to 5 (strongly agree). Reverse marked items by subtracting your rating from 6, then average within each group. These are descriptive averages of your answers, not EQ scores or population comparisons.

Below 2.5, from 2.5 to below 3.5, and 3.5 or above select the three descriptions. These editorial bands organize reflection, not clinical classification.

  • Everyday relationship functioning: 1, 2, 3 (reverse), 4, 5, 6 (reverse), 7, 8, 9 (reverse), 10, 11, 12 (reverse).

Fear, control and threat items are separate from the average. Any rating of 3, 4 or 5 on those items puts safety support first and withholds the numerical summary. Disagreeing with all three still cannot establish safety.

Several everyday agreements need attention

Your account includes gaps in repair, shared decisions or follow-through. The average cannot identify who is responsible or decide the future of the relationship.

Privately select one recurring problem you can describe with dates and actions. Consider what support you need before deciding whether and how to raise it.

There are working parts and unfinished conversations

Some answers describe cooperation while others point to issues that stay unresolved. A single pleasant evening or difficult argument should not stand in for the whole pattern.

If you feel safe, choose one unfinished agreement for a short conversation. Ask what each person understood, then decide whether there is a specific next action both can accept.

You report several usable forms of cooperation

Your answers describe attention, repair and follow-through in everyday interactions. This is one partner’s snapshot, and it cannot establish relationship safety or predict what happens next.

Name one agreement worth keeping and one small adjustment you would welcome. Invite the other person’s account without requiring them to match your positive summary.

Take the snapshot privately before comparing accounts

Answer from your own experience of the past month. You do not need to take the quiz beside your partner, obtain their permission or show them the result. If you choose to discuss something afterward, a concrete example may be more useful than a number. “We agreed to revisit the weekend schedule and never did” gives both people an event to address. “The website says our relationship is unhealthy” gives an editorial exercise authority it does not have.

Choose a time when you can read without being hurried or watched. If using this page itself could create a problem, stop and consider a safer way to seek support. The browser does not save quiz answers, but this page can still appear in browsing history and a shared device can expose what is on screen. Do not assume a private result component makes the entire device private. You decide whether completing or discussing the exercise is useful in your circumstances.

Safety questions do not enter the average

The last three statements are handled separately from the twelve everyday items. Selecting neither agree nor disagree, agree or strongly agree on fear, control or threats puts the support aside first and suppresses the numerical result. Good answers about shared chores cannot cancel an answer about threats. The midpoint is treated cautiously because uncertainty is enough reason to see support information; this rule does not determine what has happened or classify the relationship from a checklist.

Disagreeing with all three safety statements also cannot establish that a relationship is safe. The wording covers only a few concerns and depends on what you choose to report. You can use support information regardless of the answers or leave the quiz incomplete. The National Domestic Violence Hotline provides contact options and information for people concerned about relationship abuse. The shared safety box on this page includes its phone, text and chat routes, alongside emergency guidance for immediate danger.

What the everyday questions actually cover

The first items ask whether problems can be named, whether concerns can be raised and whether unfinished disagreements get addressed. Later items concern task agreements, consultation on plans and whether both people participate in repair. These are distinct observations. You might share household tasks reliably while avoiding every conversation about a recurring hurt. Read the low-rated statements individually so an average does not conceal the exact part of the relationship you wanted to understand when you opened the page.

Attention and support appear near the end of the everyday set. Consider something both people wanted, such as a conversation during a walk or a brief call during travel. Sitting in the same room while one person repeatedly asks to be heard is a different experience. The emotional availability quiz examines your own engagement in more detail. Here the focus is the recent pattern as you perceive it, with no access to your partner's account or to interactions you did not include.

Use one agreement to make the result concrete

Suppose the recurring issue is changing plans at the last minute. Write the last agreed plan, who changed it, when the other person learned about the change and what happened next. Then separate an unavoidable disruption from a pattern of deciding unilaterally. You may discover that the disagreement concerns notice, workload or whether either person can decline. The same quiz statement can lead to different practical discussions depending on those details, which is why the page cannot prescribe a single solution.

If you feel safe raising the issue, propose a limited discussion about that agreement. “Can we decide how to check before inviting guests?” is smaller than “We need to fix our relationship tonight.” The couples communication practice offers examples of requests and listening choices. Use those exercises only where ordinary communication practice fits the situation. A better script cannot guarantee cooperation, and a refusal to engage is information you may need to consider separately from how carefully you phrased the request.

Avoid the two traps of a high or low result

A high everyday average can become a reason to dismiss a concern: most things seem good, so perhaps the unresolved issue should not matter. Keep the specific concern visible. One serious problem can deserve attention even when many practical agreements work well. A low average can create the opposite trap, turning every event into evidence for a global verdict. Look for the observed pattern and the available choices without asking the result to determine whether the relationship is worth continuing.

Two partners can also answer differently without either response becoming a lie detector. They may remember different events or experience the same arrangement differently. If comparing answers is voluntary and safe, begin with one discrepancy and ask what example each person had in mind. Do not average the two totals into an official couple score. The boundaries quiz can help you examine your own participation and limits without requiring agreement about every interpretation of the relationship as a whole.

Six dimensions are prompts, not shared responsibility for harm

Emotional self-awareness helps identify what an unresolved interaction brings up for you. Emotional regulation concerns how you choose your response to that feeling. Empathy and perspective-taking can help you hear an account that differs from yours, while leaving you free to disagree with it. In an ordinary scheduling conflict, that might mean understanding a partner's work pressure without accepting that your own schedule can always be changed. Understanding a reason does not automatically make an arrangement fair or acceptable.

Social awareness includes power differences and whether you can speak freely in the setting. Relationship communication concerns making needs and agreements understandable. Conflict navigation asks what can realistically be discussed or repaired. None of these skills makes a person responsible for someone else's threats or control. Keep the result private if you want, and choose a next step based on your circumstances: reviewing an agreement, seeking individual support or deciding that this activity is not the right tool. The tests directory remains available without saving this snapshot.

5 questions

Frequently asked questions

Is this a relationship health test?

It is a private snapshot of one partner’s reported experiences. It cannot establish relationship health or safety, or decide whether you should stay together.

What happens if I report fear or control?

Uncertainty or agreement on any safety item makes support information appear first and hides the numerical summary. Those items are never averaged with positive relationship answers.

Can I take this without my partner?

Yes. It is designed for one person’s reflection, and you choose whether to share anything. It is not a couple comparison tool.

Does a high score mean my relationship is safe?

No. Even disagreeing with all three safety statements cannot establish safety. The page only knows the answers you choose to give to a limited set of prompts.

Will my partner be sent my answers?

The quiz has no sending or account feature. Answers remain in the current page memory, although someone with access to your device may still see the page or browsing history.

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