Alexithymia: definition and example
Alexithymia is a research term for a personality dimension that involves difficulty identifying your own feelings, difficulty describing them to others, and a thinking style focused on external, practical details. It varies by degree across people rather than being something you either have or do not.
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How researchers measure it
The most common tool is the 20-item Toronto Alexithymia Scale (TAS-20), a self-report questionnaire whose three-factor structure replicated in both clinical and nonclinical samples (Bagby, Parker, and Taylor, 1994). A 2021 overview describes those facets as difficulty identifying feelings, difficulty describing them, and an externally focused thinking style, and treats alexithymia as a fundamental personality dimension (Luminet, Nielson, and Ridout, 2021).
What it can look like
Someone might notice a racing heart and tight stomach before a family visit but, asked how they feel, honestly say, "Fine, I guess. Tired?" Or a partner asks, "Are you upset with me?" and the honest answer is, "I can tell something is off, but I don't know what it is." That is different from hiding a feeling; the word is genuinely hard to find.
How it differs from related ideas
Alexithymia is about difficulty finding and describing your own feelings. It is different from low empathy, which concerns other people's feelings, and from suppression, where you know the feeling and choose not to show it. Someone with high alexithymia may care deeply and still say, "I know I am upset; I just do not have the word."
What it is not
Alexithymia is not coldness, a lack of caring, or a character flaw, and it is not a label to put on a partner during an argument. It is a research concept, and EQTiger does not diagnose it or any other condition. If difficulty recognizing feelings is causing real problems for you, a licensed mental health professional can help you explore it.
Gentle ways to build skill: start with body signals (interoception), use a short list of feeling words (emotional vocabulary), and practice affect labeling after the fact rather than in the heat of the moment.
Back to the glossary or emotions A to Z, or start the free assessment for adult self-reflection. Not therapy or a mental-health screening. EQTiger does not diagnose.
Research notes
- R. M. Bagby, J. D. Parker, G. J. Taylor (1994). The twenty-item Toronto Alexithymia Scale--I. Item selection and cross-validation of the factor structure. Journal of Psychosomatic Research. Develops the 20-item Toronto Alexithymia Scale (TAS-20), a self-report measure with good internal consistency, test-retest reliability, and a three-factor structure that replicated in clinical and nonclinical samples. pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/8126686/
- Olivier Luminet, Kristy A. Nielson, Nathan Ridout (2021). Having no words for feelings: alexithymia as a fundamental personality dimension at the interface of cognition and emotion. Cognition and Emotion. Introduces a special issue that describes alexithymia as a multifaceted personality construct marked by difficulty identifying feelings, difficulty describing them to others, and an externally focused, practical thinking style, and reviews how it affects attention, appraisal, memory, language, and behavior. Limits: editorial overview of a special issue. pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33900884/
Related
- No. 01EQ glossaryThe words behind emotional intelligence, defined.
- No. 02Emotional awarenessEmotional awareness is the ability to notice and describe emotions in yourself and in others, ranging from vague body sensations to rich, specific accounts of mixed feelings.
- No. 03InteroceptionInteroception is the sense of the body's internal condition: heartbeat, breathing, hunger, temperature, muscle tension, and a churning stomach.
- No. 04Emotional vocabularyEmotional vocabulary is the range of words a person uses to describe feelings, from broad ones like "bad" to specific ones like "wistful" and "slighted" that pin a moment down.
- No. 05Affect labelingAffect labeling is putting an emotional experience into words, such as moving from "I feel bad" to "I feel embarrassed and a little angry" in your own head or out loud.
- No. 06Emotional Intelligence Test: Free EQ AssessmentExplore your emotional choices with a free 36-item assessment for adults. Get a profile summary and strongest area, then choose whether to unlock the full report.
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